


Fear

by orphan_account



Series: Tumblr ficlets — series one – Angst [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: After-kiss angst, Angst, Destiel Angst, M/M, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 13:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11291433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Fearˈfir/noun1.• an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.• the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.





	Fear

Fear.

Castiel’s afraid.

He’s scared and he’s terrified and everything in-between.

In novels, love is portrayed as something that terrifies you, yet gives you courage, something that stops you, yet helps you keep going.

Castiel’s love freezes him, burns him, pulling and pushing him backwards.

He feels no courage when he sees Dean.

He feels no warmth when they touch. It’s always _fire_ and _ice_. 

He feels no relief, instead feeling like ash is filling his lungs.

He feels heavy, not lightheaded. He feels heavy in his body, his head and his heart. It’s heavy and filled with ash. 

It’s frightening and it’s too hot yet so, so cold.

Castiel doesn’t know what it is, but he does know that he can’t get enough. Every time he meets Dean, for whatever reason, he feels it.

That’s the only thing he’s able to feel. And after each time he meets him, talks to him, he can stay away from Dean less and less. 

Seeing him from afar makes him feel like that.

_Thinking_ of him makes him feel this burning ice.

And as their meetings grow longer, the harder it is to satiate his need to _see, smell, hear, taste_ , and _touch_  the hunter. 

He’s an addict, and even his grace can’t cure this addiction. 

Neither can alcohol or drugs. 

It’s always _Dean, Dean, Dean._

His fear is not heaven’s wrath. It’s not his brothers and sisters and higher ranks. 

Not even god. 

But even Castiel’s fear can’t stop the _want_ he feels for the hunter. 

Castiel fears. 

He fears it’s not love. 

 

 

> I can see it as pre-endverse Cas, now when I think about it.


End file.
